Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Happy Endings

I am sick and tired of showing our house. It's been on the market since April. Fifty people saw it. And each time there was a showing it meant cleaning the place to a pristine state and leaving until the people showed up, saw and left.

No takers.

Two weeks ago, we decided to put it to rent. Even at the bargain basement price we were offering it at no one wanted it and we had had enough of giving away our beautiful (yes, yes I know beauty lies in the eye of the householder) home.

Now we have showings to rent. At least a pristine state of house isn't needed since we will be the boss of whomever "chooses" or gets chosen to rent the place. As a result I am getting more and more lax about what I will and won't clean up. Papers on the desk...not sensitive? Leave 'em be. Dishes in the sink? Oh all right I'll at least load them into the dishwasher.
With an infant, an active five year old and oodles of work left to do before we leave for India, a showing, albeit necessary, has become a pain in the behind.

And I think on some super tired week ends when I ache for a nap and someone wants to see the house at a ridiculous 2:30 pm...oh I wish we could have a happy ending to our life here in the states.

I wish the house had sold at a nice price, I wish I could leave this country with a small publishing contract. I wish I could have made a success of one of my businesses.

A happy ending. I wish. I wish, I wish.

But then I look at my family. Today I will have survived yet another birthday. I am healthier than I have ever been. More active than I have ever been. Wiser. Less cynical. Less angry. Less anxious. Bolder and fuller of sauce than ever before. The possibilities are, despite all my failures, still endless in my mind.

Which must mean there is nothing to be sad about.

Truth is I am happy. We are happy.

Pat, closed happy endings, I tell myself, are for movies.

In real life, perhaps, a not sad ending is perhaps the happiest ending of all.

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